just-chillin-like-a-villain:

that-stupid-tardis-sound:

everyonesfavoriteging:

deodoranting:

do you ever just turn your candy canes into prison shanks like…

image

Perfect for killing my enemies with a little holiday flair

ho-ho-homicide

I literally thought of killing one of my class members while having a candy cane in my hand shaped like that today in school

*in the tune of “jingle bells”*

"Sitting in my cell,
Waiting for my chance to prey,
Got the candy in my hand,
That bitch gon’ die today hAHAHA!
When I get to the yard,
Imma shank that ugly bitch,
And when she starts to bleed to death,
Yo scared ass ain’t gon’ snitch!!!
OH candy-shank, candy-shank,
It’s sharp, it’s fast, it’s free,
And when I stab yo’ ugly ass,
You’ll smell minty when you bleed.”

I’m still working on it but whatever.

201,464 notes
Remember the book fair?

That week was poppin. They be tellin you to make wish lists and you make one with everything but books like slinkies & glitter pens & shit & the total cost is like $75 & you show your mom the list of stuff when you get home after school & she be like “fuck outta here I ain’t gettin that bullshit” & then you be passin by the book fair like everyday till it’s over with the stale face.

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snapchatting:

gonna get SO trashed at this Kidz Bop concert its gonna be crazy

I got that good milk & applesauce….

(Source: snapchatting)

85,258 notes

roseonabeach:

purpleflrs:

city-of-sherlock-games:

thatsnowbastard:

remember that time it got so hot in some parts of australia the bottoms of people’s thongs were literally melting to the asphalt and people still ask me why I hate summer

For Americans reading this post, a thong is a flip-flop.
FLIP-FLOP.

Oh

Mental image

ohhhhh. i envisioned people’s asscheeks stuck to the pavement

(Source: angryabouttelevision)

256,315 notes